Au Chat Noir!

To the Chat Noir we went today.

I had heard about this bar a few months back when I first arrived. It's known for having an English spoken word event every Monday, sort of like an Open Mic event and I had written a piece, hoping to get a chance to go....

Finally tonight I went. Although I wasn't planning to have such a large group, many of my friends came to support me.

I was honestly so thrilled and excited while simultaneously nervous and shaking.

This was my first time completing a piece and also my first time performing a piece, and the feeling was amazing. And the fact that this first time has taken place in Paris, simply blows my mind.

***
EDIT: 26 November 2012...
I had said that I would post it... and here it is... I'm also including the typed version underneath if you are interested... and of course a pic of folks who came to support :) although we weren't able to take one at the location itself (we forgot)... we did manage to snag a group shot at the metro. <3

Actually... my friend recorded this at a different angle and since I can't rotate the angle without corrupting the video... I will leave it as is... ENJOY!

American Dreams of Homeland

Mama, how much your heart must have broken when I said I hated you.
You.

You.

You… who had given up everything

With only thoughts of us in your head and heart.

Left a country where you had been born, raised, educated,

Arrived in a country where you could not speak the language,

Were forced to become a housekeeper,

Were forced to give up your career,

Were forced to depend on a husband who disrespected you

Were forced into a subservient, minority, role.

In order for your children…

Me.

Me.

Me… who said I hated you.

How much you must have cried when you had to sell those generation-old bracelets given by your mother

When you had to prostitute your pride in order to collect cans and ask for handouts in this new country

Where you were discriminated, mocked, racialized, victimized, silenced.

All in the name of the American Dream.

So that I

I

I

Could be your hope

Could make something better of myself

But mama, I too, have been denied in this new country

I too have been discriminated, mocked, racialized, victimized, silenced.

I never told you when kids picked on me for being a little Chinese girl

For my hair

My nose

My skin

My eyes

My accent

Or for a million other things that boiled down to one thing –

I was not a true typified American in their eyes

It would have broken your heart to know how much I didn’t fit in

To know how much I detested myself because I was so confused, ashamed, embarrassed, angry.

And so I lashed out at you,

You,

You.

Mama, please don’t be upset.

I never hated you.

It was me.

Me

Me

I hated myself.

People speak of the homeland

Of the motherland

Of going to reclaim their roots.

But I have been uprooted

I feel as if I can neither call the US nor Vietnam,

My homeland.

You dream of your homeland, of returning there, and showing me your childhood.

Where you slept, ate, dreamed, loved, and lived.

And I

I

I… did not know this.

Did not understand this.

Could not understand this.

Still do not understand it.

If the homeland is the idea of a place where you grew up and loved and were loved unconditionally

Were accepted unconditionally

Belonged unconditionally

Then I cannot claim any geographic space or any created national boundary.

If I must choose a site

An object

Then I will instead choose a subject

A person

You

You

You, mama

You are my homeland.

I dream of your black hair, button nose, tan skin, brown eyes, and familiar face

Filled with all the opportunity and hope and wishes and love

That the American dream does not carry for me

When people ask where I come from

I shall simply respond that I came from not a place

But a person

You

You

You, mama

You are my homeland.

Copyright 2012. I've never had to say this before, but just in case: This poem herein is a work of my own creation and copyrighted by me and cannot be reprinted or re-represented without my express permission and knowledge. Likewise, all other posts and the ideas contained (unless stated otherwise) are of my own opinions and also require my express permission and knowledge in order to be reprinted or re-represented.

Past-due Update

Clearly, my updating skills are terrible. 

However, as some people would say (here, I'm speaking of Harry here... Hi Harry!!!) , fewer updates and busy-ness signifies that I am having fun... 

I would update a little more... but it's class time! 

I leave you with a quote: “Travel changes you. As you move through this life and this world you change things slightly, you leave marks behind, however small. And in return, life – and travel – leaves marks on you. Most of the time, those marks – on your body or on your heart – are beautiful. Often, though, they hurt.” ~Anthony Bourdain

Headed to Rome this weekend, looking forward to amazing pizza and gelato! 

Day 14: Monday, September 3, 2012
Today was the two week anniversary of my arrival... it's crazy how fast time flew and how quickly all the French I thought I had lost, has rushed back to me.

Having moved out of the dorms and into the home stay, which is located only 15-20 minutes away from the Daumesnil dorms, I was rather concerned about going out and being invited to go places, but hopefully it won't be a big deal.

I went on the metro by myself for the first time this morning. After a quick breakfast, Madame (my host mother) walked me to the metro and made sure to point out places of interest to me as we walked (later when I walked home, I realized that this was her way of helping me not get lost, haha).

Class was long of course -- new vocabulary:
emménager: to move
As in -- Le soir hier, j'ai emménagé à ma nouvelle maison. (I moved to my new home, last night)

After class, I tried a quiche at a bakery near the ACCENT center... It is potential that there is a great love for salmon here, because that's what was in my quiche -- salmon, eggs, and spinach.

Then we left for another class excursion to Montmarte... which is an extremely quaint area of Paris. It is super cute with cobblestone roads and feels extremely historic. A gentleman along the street was playing the accordion which just sealed the deal for me -- I felt as if I was in a movie as I walked down the streets of Paris. We stopped by some other key sights, such as the grocery store that was in the movie Amelie, and the communal and historic vineyard, but the best sight of all was Sacre-Coeur (Sacred Heart) which is a Catholic (? I believe) church that is just amazing. I'm no art history buff, but I believe that it is made in the Basilique (?) style? In any case, it took 15 years alone just to drain the site and set the foundation. They went through tons of architects and unfortunately, just like at the Pantheon, one architect had the dimensions wrong and ended up forming one of the roofs higher than it should be, leading to poor filtration of light.

It was just an awe-inspiring sight. Paris is truly a gigantic city, but it can also be quite small, and the view... just blew me away. I was re-invigorated.

Planning to attend mass at the Sacre-Coeur on Sunday... I will let you know how it goes...

P.S. I will post pics tomorrow and I updated my last post with some extra pics, feel free to check them out!

The catch-22 of blogging

If I want to do a good job on blogging, then I must focus on blogging and spend time that I could be using to sleep, or rest, or explore.

But then if I go out and explore and then subsequently blog about my adventures, it takes time too. 

Ahhhh, there's just not enough time in the day...

And so, although I was once hoping to do a daily installment... I think it will have to be a weekly thing... or a sporadic thing... It's not much fun reading my daily life schedule, right? But I'm afraid that's what has happened. And it must change. Haha.

Okay, time for bed.

A bientot!

J'adore Paris (Continued)

Day 4: Thursday, August 23

We didn’t have any ACCENT or UCEAP orientations today…

I attended a meeting for a phone program (Pixcel), but because the program wasn’t for me… I ultimately decided to open my phone with a different program. More on this later.

I went to Versailles with some other students after the meeting.

Versailles…. Is gorgeous. And massive. And gold-plated. Incredibly ornate and intricate. And it’s history…

I’ve always had a strange attachment to Marie Antoinette… and so, it was incredible to be able to see her palace and take a boat ride in the pools, and walk in the same path that she may have walked.

After a long day of exploring, we were exhausted, so I joined two friends to have dinner at a restaurant near our dorms. I can’t remember the exact name, but it was a duck dish. By far, one of the best meals I have ever had. The duck was tantalizing and the potatoes were amazing and I’m drooling as I type this.

Welcome to Versailles

One of the best meals ever...

Day 5: Friday, August 24

I had my first day of practicum today. Our program has an intensive 11-day practicum program that is mostly French language and excursions to various sites in Paris. Our class didn’t have an excursion today, so we instead went to check out different phone stores. We ended up choosing a pre-paid plan. Although I had bought my phone that I brought from Seoul with me, I did not realize that I had to unlock it… given that tracking down the phone company in Seoul would be A LOT more complicated, I opted to make life simple, and simply purchase a new phone.

As we are going to be here for a while, and given the crazy expensiveness that is Paris, we opted to go grocery shopping today. I was blown away by the cheap costs of cheese here. And also certain French snacks.

I explored the Parisian nightlife scene with some friends. Checked out my first French club, REX Club. Very interesting… Some Eurotechno craziness.

Arrabiata! Delish, with just a kick of spice

Day 6: Saturday, August 25

After staying out all night to wait for the metro, some sleep was needed.

I had an indoors day and picnic-ed for lunch on the bridge near to the dorms with a friend. It was quite fun. Just some snacks, a delicious pastry, and some good company.

We went out again and this time, hit up Duplex. A two-story club with three dance floors, ooh-la-la.

Forgot the name already... but something with poulet (chicken)

Schwepp's is a French brand??? I never knew!

Day 7: Sunday, August 26 

I attended mass at the Notre Dame…. Yeah, I’m serious. It is amazing and mind-blowing that I can even say that. MASS AT THE NOTRE DAME.

And yes, it is incredibly beautiful. And historic. And ancient. And holy snaps, it was just oh-so-perrrty. I took so many pictures that my camera ran low on battery!

We went to Place d’Italie in search of a famous Pho restaurant… Pho Banh Cuon 14… apparently it is extremely famous. It was quite delicious but also definitely French influenced.

We followed it up with some boba, haha. Delicious!!!! But pricey (5 euros!!!)

That's me!!!

Such a pretty shot, I couldn't NOT include it

Run of the mill shots like these, that are oh so inspiring, remind me that I am in the City of Lights

Day 8: Monday, August 27

I had an excursion to Opera Garnier, one of two operas in Paris. It was an incredibly massive and like many other structures in Paris, incredibly beautiful structure. Unfortunately, I forgot my camera this day… so no pictures….. But believe me… It was gorgeous.

Another picnic at the Eiffel Tower, followed by a rest near the Seine River (the primary river that runs through Paris)

Day 9: Tuesday, August 28

Home stay meeting, then stayed in and did homework.

Day 10: Wednesday August 29

I had a class excursion to the mosque… Mosquee Paris… Incredibly intricate and fascinating to me.

Stayed in for the rest of the day…

Don't judge me too harshly... I mean, I had to try it once, right? It tastes better here... like real meat...

They have a special french fry sauce!!! I think it's mayo, haha

Not sure what's in the yogurt here, but it is absolutely delicious!!!

Gorgeous shot of the gardens inside the mosque

Day 11: Thursday, August 30

I had a class excursion to the open market (one of many in Paris and France) near the ACCENT center. Essentially the open market is equivalent to our flea markets, except they are a lot more common… And it’s where you can buy the cheapest and freshest fruits and veggies around!

We also went to a former Roman coliseum where they used to have gladiator fights and stuff. The cage where the lion used to be? Now holds chairs. LOL. It was uncovered a while back and has since been turned into a public space/park where people play soccer and volleyball and stuff.

Attended an ERASMUS Boat Party. ERASMUS is an international language club that tries to bring together English and French speakers… Eh.

Had my first boat ride.

Purple bellpeppers!!!

It's supposed to be a rather famous and delicious patissier near Daumesnil

The delicious jasmine tea pastry that I got from the above bakery! It was amazing!!!!

Open market!

Look at all the lovely fresh fruit! AB stands for biological agriculture... aka, organic!

Day 12: Friday, August 31

I had a class excursion to the Latin Quarter, awesome area. Walked by the Sorbonne (an elite public university), the Pantheon, and the Ecole Henry (? A rather famous high school), some Medieval area that has been since turned into a public space, and the church/ stairs where a scene from Midnight in Paris was filmed… where the car came to pick him up. Everyone in the class was rather excited about this… although I’m not sure why. 

Went to a starcraft tournament (haha, it’s been on my bucket list since I never went to one in Seoul)… our friend won third place! Woohoo!

Returned home and attempted to watch Midnight in Paris… Wayyyy too long for me… Mayhaps another day I shall try again.

Back view of the Pantheon

the infamous steps!

The cleanest... nicest metro station I have ever seen... mosaic tile artwork on the overhead of the inner station...

random lovely shot of the street leading up to the Pantheon

Day 13: Saturday, September 1

Went to the Louis Vuitton/ Marc Jacobs exhibit at the Louvre… Incredibly fascinating. Fashion patent law, oh how you intrigue me.

Followed by a trip to Le Marais (which is also the Jewish quarters). I had an oh-so-amazing mixte pita (falalel and schwarma combined), probably the best I have ever had. But apparently, it was not at THE falalel place (that place was closed). So I must go back.

We also went thrift-shopping (I purchased two dresses that I am rather excited about!) and we also went to Champs-Elysees to shop… Along the walk there, there are tons of trendy boutiques and brand-name stores that line the streets and tons of fashionable folks just walking by, in and out.

Errr, communal changing rooms. No line. Genius!

Also had sushi. Haha. My friend had gotten food poisoning so she was craving rice and I joined her for a nice sushi dinner near the dorms.

Checked out Wanderlust… I don’t understand the love. We left rather early in search of a crepe. It didn’t happen :(

Day 14: Sunday, September 2 – home stay move-in day!

I moved out of the dorms today! But first, I scrambled with friends in order to purchase some tickets to the south of France. For some reason, none of our cards worked online. Darn you lack of chip!

Anyways, I also had a nice pastry!

But I digress…

Packing was not too bad, just shoving everything in and then I took a taxi (paid for by accent) to the homestay house.

I’m staying with a Monsieur and Madame who have two kids, a son and a daughter, neither of whom live at home. But there is another student here, she is a family friend who is studying at Sciences Po (super super elite school here in France) and we had a nice time chatting it up before dinner.

Dinner was amazing. My first real home-cooked meal. It was super legit. Rice and fish (with some amazing butter sauce), accompanied by some 20-year-old wine, in celebration of Marie (their daughter) who is moving to Northern France tomorrow morning. And then followed by salad and a dessert of fromage blanc, berries, and natural sugar….

I unpacked, did some homework, and well now… Here I am. Ready for bed.

Paris, J'adore...

I suppose we should start from the very beginning...

Originally, I had a lot I wanted to say and describe but at the rate of my blogging, I'll never get started... Haha, so here goes... in installments:

D-Day **Day 0**: Sunday, August 19
I left for Paris on Sunday, August 19, 2012 and landed in Paris on Monday, August 20.
I am a notoriously slow packer and horrible procrastinator, so of course, I wasn't really fully packed until maybe 2 hours before I was supposed to leave for the airport.
Unfortunately, I was over-packed and over the weight limit by 5 kg (or 10 lbs) and Air France is particularly strict about its weight restrictions (the cost is $100-200, which honestly wasn't worth it for me), so instead I had to unload some of my precious heavier goods such as conditioner and lotion...
We then rushed to the airport arriving just in time for last check ins. I had to purchase some last minute items and Lisa, my dad, Ngoc, and Hien sent me off. Perhaps because it was my second time away for an extended time, or perhaps there was no crying Khoa to pull my emotions, but it felt less of a sad farewell.

It didn't actually hit me that I was going to Paris until I was on the flight. Overwhelmed by all the French I was hearing, I started to have my panic attack... WHAT WAS I DOING? WHY WAS I DOING THIS? WHY DIDN'T I WORK HARDER IN MY FRENCH CLASS?! These were some of the panicked thoughts that ran through my head. But alas, we were already in the air and it was too late for such regrets.

Day 1: Monday, August 20

I had originally planned to meet with a group of students so we could all take the shuttle together but with CDG was extremely hectic and it was pretty much impossible. By some luck, I was able to find one other student and we decided to take the metro back to the ACCENT center... Bad idea. The French metro system is not so elevator-friendly and we both had large heavy luggages that we had to lug up and down several stairways and through two metro transfers. After some confusion, we found the center only to learn that where we resided was NOT at ACCENT. Some more lugging before I finally arrived at Daumesnil.
By the way, it was an incredibly hot hot day and I was soaked in sweat by the time I arrived, requiring a nice cold shower.
I grabbed some drinks with some floor mates and had my first French meal/food item: I'm pretty sure it was a croque-monsieur... unfortunately I forgot to take a photo... in any case, it is like a glorified grilled cheese, haha. But twice as crispy and amazing.

Day 2: Tuesday, August 21

I had orientation for ACCENT which was super informative and interesting for me (I wasn't able to attend the Berkeley orientation, which I wish I had) followed by an awesome splurge of a breakfast with the roommate. After lunch, I met one of my roommate's friends (who is visiting for just a few days) and we went to certain random boutiques followed by Lafayette Galleries (essentially a super fancy mall with high end brands). I tasted an awesome ice cream in bread concoction. After much confusion, we finally found my roommate's other roommate and headed back to shopping.

Although I had read many blogs which advised against wearing shorts, I found that many people did wear shorts in Paris. And also, on account of the heat wave and the fact that I only had so much summer wear available, I made my first clothing purchase -- camel-colored shorts from H&M.

Fun fact: H&M is a European brand and the first American store was at South Coast Mall in Southern CA... interesting right?

First breakfast in Paris!

Part of breakfast too!

We had already decided to go to the Eiffel Tower later in the day, but we stopped to have dinner. I had a salmon pizza... interesting concept, poor execution... We stopped by a market for some wine and snacks. It also happened to be my roommate's friends birthday so we planned to surprise him with candles, sparklers, and some pastries.

There's no words to describe how beautiful of a sight the Eiffel Tower was at night. It was unreal, incredible, spectacular, and wow. Just wow.

The interesting ice cream brioche bread sandwich!

Inside of Lafayette Galleries

Salmon pizza...

Close-up during the light show!

La Tour Eiffel

Day 3: Wednesday, August 22

I had another orientation this day, followed by a nap. I felt like I was wasting my day so I went in search of a particular restaurant with some floor mates. We were quite confused and lost but eventually made it, only to learn that it was closed. (This is the case with many restaurants in August, since this is the month when the French go on often month-long vacations).
I had my first Amelie experience, cracking creme brulee with my spoon.

Originally, I was going to try a fondue experience but because of the large size of our group and the small size of the restaurant, we split up and I ended up having pizza (again?! you ask. and yes. again. except it was a margherita pizza... if that makes a difference).
After some more confusion, I ended up near the Bastille, where I barhopped with some other people.
The bar scene was... interesting, to say the least.

Note: Something I found of importance during the two orientations. Our coordinators warned female students that we would get cat-called and grabbed at, and that there's really not much else one can do but to ignore them. Any responses or actions you would normally use in the States... can turn real ugly here...
Yeah... it's gonna be a rough semester. Having returned from Seoul as a feminist, I itch to correct this system... Guys in clubs and on the streets can be a lot more forceful than one is used to in the States... as in, you need to say with conviction, "NON, MONSIEUR" at least 2 times, if not 3 or 4, before the message really gets through. And yeah, people can be quite touchy-feel-y.